Friday, October 28, 2005

Dead Moose Lodge

If you have a squeemish stomach, read no further...

To say that the cottage opening this year was interesting would be the greatest of understatements.

It was sunny and warm, and the air was rich with the scents of pine, cedar, and peat. I opened all the windows to banish the stuffy winter smells from the deepest corners of the cottage.

I opened the blinds and window over the kitchen sink and beheld an interesting site. What is that mound of...fur? Then the smell hit......

A maggot-filled, bloated, liquefying moose corpse.

From what I can surmise, it caught a stray bullet from a poacher, lost it's footing along the ridge behind my cottage, and fell down the granite be stopped only 10 feet from the cottage by a tree stump.

Dilemna: How does a 110lb woman move a 500lb bag of rotting flesh?
Answer: She does not.

Solution: Water down the grass around the carcass, cover it in gasoline and set it to torch.

Problem: Liquifying guts don't burn.

Solution 2: Take a pick axe to the gut to try to let the liquid run out.

Problem: Moose hide is thick and the liquid makes the axe bounce.

Solution 3: Keep trying 'til you get through somehow. Torch it again. Let it burn enough to speed the decomposition but not enough to burn down the forest. Put out the fire and come home...praying to god that the dry heat this week will dry it out enough to deal with next weekend.

I didn't cry and I didn't puke. I can handle anything the cottage throws at me now.


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